New Orleans 2011 Urban Adventure Race Report
November 29th, 2011The morning before the race, Ryan and Bret met at my house and we loaded up our gear and started the long drive from Huntsville to New Orleans. Ryan and I have either raced against or with each other in three other races, so we are on the same page with a lot of this stuff, but this was Bret’s first Adventure Race, AND it was the first time I had ever met him. The first thing you notice about Bret is his size. He’s about 3 inches taller and has about 100 lbs on me. He’s a former Marine who served in Afghanistan (salute!), and is now in the Army National Guard, so he could legitimately break me in half if he wanted. He also graduated from Auburn in 2009. So by the time we arrived in Louisiana, I was “the old guy”, and he was the “fat guy”. All in good fun, of course.
After doing the tourist bit at the French Quarter with the obligatory walk down Bourbon Street, riding the Riverfront Streetcar, and eating a beignet at Cafe Du Monde, we hit the pre-race registration at one of the main sponsors, Massey’s Bike Shop. They served Gatorade and Clif Bars as hors devours. Classy. The only pre-race tip that they were willing to give out was that we could use the Riverfront Streetcar during the race, so we were glad that we had already had some experience with where it stopped and how to find it.
The next morning, we arrived at City Park, which is a large park in New Orleans that is surrounded by water on three sides. Lake Pontchartrain was to the north, and two bayous on the east and west. As we we started suiting up, I realized that this was a different caliber of race that I had been used to. The New Orleans race was the final leg of a 7-part series of races that had been going on all year long along the Gulf Coast, and so some of the “best of the best” were participating in this race. I overheard conversations of racers who were making plans to attend the International Adventure Race Finals in France next summer. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. Additionally, Bret noticed that he was by far the biggest guy out there.
Ten minutes before the race began, they handed us a packet that had a tourist map of New Orleans, a map of City Park with 20 marked checkpoints, two pages of step-by-step instructions of how to collect each checkpoint, a flyer for the Civil War History Museum, and a passport with punches for checkpoints A, B, C, and D. Then the race instructor pulled us all together and gave us a few tips about the race, and started rabbit-trailing about the same Civil War History Museum before finishing with the playing of the National Anthem.
The countdown began…and we’re off.
Our first challenge was to collect checkpoints A, B, C, and D in any order. About 55% of the racers started with A, so we went with D. A wrinkle that they threw in was one person had to be on their bike, and the other two on foot. Since Ryan and I are stronger runners, we went on foot, and Bret happily took his bike. (A note about City Park. It’s huge. It has ball fields, parking, ponds, swamps, trees, lakes, rivers and roads. It would be easy to get lost here if you didn’t have a map.) We got off the main road and started following the main group down a trail. I knew that to collect D, we were supposed to eventually break off the main trail to the left, but once we came to the fork, all the other racers kept going straight. So I stopped (not a good thing to do, especially at the beginning of the race), and somehow convinced my team that everyone else was going in the wrong direction. Here we were, one minute into the race, and my navigation skills were about to be totally validated, or I’d be handing the maps over to someone else. We took the left, and went straight to the checkpoint D. Awesome. My navigation skills live to see another checkpoint.
The checkpoints are actually orange hole punches that have a series of pins that make odd designs when you punch them through your passport. These punches are usually found hanging from a tree. If you are ever at a park and you see one hanging there, don’t take it, or else you’ll ruin a race. FYI.
After that, picking up the C, B, A was relatively straightforward. We did have to jump across a small stream, which was not hard, but you had to run up to it and spot your landing. Ryan and I jumped it while Bret dismounted off his bike. We turned around to help him lift the bike across, only to see him put the bike on his shoulder and jump the stream with the bike on his shoulder. Yeah, he’s that kinda guy. He later said that him jumping across with a bike was the weighted equivalent to me jumping across with a football. Fair enough.
In past Adventure Races, Ryan and I have enjoyed interacting with some of the other racers while we are on the trail. You’d probably hear us making jokes or giving out high-fives if you raced alongside us. Apparently, these “high-caliber” racers around us did not appreciate this kind of behavior. One group of ladies that we were running alongside remarked that they had won this race three times, but that they hadn’t raced it in two years. Shortly after that, one of the ladies caught her toe on a root, which staggered her steps a little, but she didn’t fall. I remarked, “I guess that root wasn’t there two years ago.” Apparently, that wasn’t the right thing to say. I’m sure they beat us.
After collecting checkpoint A, I asked Bret if I could take over on the bike. I was gassed by this point and was starting to develop a stitch in my side. It was only about a quarter mile back to the transition area, but it gave me a break that I needed.
At the transition area, we handed in our passport, and we received a new passport with 16 more checkpoints to collect. The first passport was used to thin out the crowd a bit, which was a good idea. Having too many racers bunched up tends to lead to frustration as people are jockeying for position and standing in line for the checkpoints. Our next stop was the bayou on the east side of City Park, where we picked up our canoe. ”Unfortunately”, our paddles were on the other side of the bayou, so everybody had to paddle by hand to the other side. Once we arrived to the other side, I hopped out and gathered our two paddles, and we were off. It took us awhile to get things figured out on the canoe. This was Bret’s strongest area, so we all agreed to put him in the front to serve as an engine, but that caused us to zig-zag all over the place. Once we figured out that Bret belonged in the back, we HAULED. I mean, there was a wake coming off our canoe, and we passed quite a few people.
So, about these bayous. These aren’t the bayous that you picture in your mind where the trees are sagging over the water with the Spanish moss hanging down as an alligator slips into murky depths. No. None of that. This was a bayou where well-manicured lawns came right up to the sea wall that sat just a few feet about the waterline. And it was the kind of homes where the owners would sit out on their back deck and watch a bunch of people try to paddle their canoe with just their hands. It’s that kind of bayou.
We collected a few points on the water. Most of which were hanging off some low hanging bridges. And yes, these bridges were LOW. One of them was so low that we had to duck down into the canoe in order to keep our shoulders from hitting the bridge.
We got to the pull-out, and ran over to Massey’s. I was half-expecting to go back there, since the primary sponsors usually get some love from the race director. On our way there, another group of ladies (what’s with these girl teams?) had stopped a truck and were asking for directions. The people inside gave them advice, which we all listened in on. As the truck pulled away, Ryan joking yelled, “Can I ride in the back of your truck?” The girls didn’t seem to like this too much, and even remarked, “We’re going to tell on you.” After telling them that my buddy was merely joking, they repeated again that they were going to report us. Oh well.
Once at Massey’s, we had to assemble a puzzle. Easy enough. Once complete, we received our punch, and headed back to the boats, which we had to paddle all the way back to where we originally picked them up. Ryan and I learned with previous races that running after sitting in a boat for a long time tends to lead to cramps, so we started taking salt pills as we neared the boat put-in/put-out area. I think that helped a lot.
We picked up the bikes that we had ditched at the boat pick-up area a few hours before, and grabbed a few more checkpoints in City Park. Then we headed out of the park, and into some of the historic parts of the city. We weren’t in the French Quarter (yet), but we definitely were in some of the older homes.
Our next challenge was to find a statue, and count all of the human faces on it. While the other guys started counting, I just sat there in a daze, saying, “Are cherubs human? If they are, then there are a lot of faces.” Apparently cherubs ARE human, and there were 43 faces. This number served as the code-word to get into our next stop, which was at a park where we dropped our bikes for the 2nd time.
After we dropped our bikes, our next stop was the Civil War Museum that the race director talked so much about before the race start. However, we had to make a decision as to how to get there. The bike drop was on the north side of the French Quarter, but the Musuem is the Warehouse district, which is a good two miles away. We could either run the half mile to the Streetcar and ride it up to the next stop, or we could run the entire two miles. We decided on the streetcar, as we knew we could use the rest AND we knew where to find the stop. We arrived at the station, and waited. After a few minutes, a few more racers arrived, and then a few more, and then a few more. After about 20 minutes of waiting, there was 12 of us waiting on the streetcar. Finally, we saw it stop at the next station down. And then, it turned around and went back down the line. What?! Now you had 12 racers running down the tracks trying to catch the streetcar before it departed from the 3rd stop. By now, we were pretty much convinced that the streetcar was a collosal waste of time, and this sprint wasn’t saving us much energy. Fortunately, all 12 of us were able to make it to the third stop. We all piled on with a bunch of bewildered tourists, some who thought that the idea of Adventure Racing was really cool, and didn’t mind that we were all sweaty.
By the time we arrived at stop #6, we ALL said goodbye to the tourists and started running towards the museum. Now, remember that we are in downtown New Orleans, and this glut of runners is zig-zagging around planters, pedestrians and cars. Ryan jumped out ahead of the crowd, and I was working my way through to catch up with him. Bret had gotten stuck in the rear, and was working his way forward when a tourist stepped out of her hotel, locked eyes with him and laughed, “Hurry up! You’re the last one!” I guess that motivated the Marine inside of Bret as he then kicked into high gear, and he was right behind me before we got to the next street. By now we had settled into a good rhythm on the run, and we had passed all of our streetcar racers.
We arrived at the Civil War Museum and were given three questions about the museum that we had to answer. NOW we realized why the race director had “rabbit-trailed” about when he had given the pre-race briefing. He was slyly giving us all of the answers to the trivia questions. Nice. Did we remember any of that? Nope. But fortunately, we had a hunch that we should hold on to the Civil War pamphlet that they gave us, and it contained all the answers we needed. We handed in our answers, got the punch, and took off for another race sponsor, which was a downtown gym.
We figured that there would be some sort of “how much can you bench?” sorta challenge at the gym, but the REAL challenge was getting to it. We found the office building just fine, but once we got there, we were told that we had to make our way up to the 13th floor, and we could not use the elevator. So, we huffed our way up 13 flights of stairs, and just doing that did more to knock the wind out of us.
The challenge when we got to the gym was pretty tame, but original. We were guided to the aerobics room, where we had to do a wheelbarrow race. I got down on my hands, while Ryan and Bret picked up my feet. All I had to do was go about 30 feet, while traversing over 3 aerobic steps (which will not ski, by the way). Once there, Ryan and I switched places, and he wheelbarrowed back the 30 feet. Ironically, there wasn’t any discussion if he and I were going to try to pick up Bret legs and carry him.
Before We left the gym, we all hit the bathroom, and refilled our Camelbaks before going back down the 13 flights. We exited the building and were directed to go to Jackson Square in the French Quarter for our next checkpoint. After the failure with the Streetcar first time, we decided to run the 2 miles back to the Quarter.
Probably one of the most surreal moments of the race was running down the middle of Bourbon Street, home of some of the weirdest, raunchiest establishments in a weird and raunchy city. As I ran down the middle of the road with Ryan The Joke Teller and Bret the Mountain of a Man following behind me, with all of us sweaty and decked out in our race gear, I realized WE were the ones everyone was gawking at, rather than the other way around. I’ll probably never be a street performer, but this was probably the closest I’ll ever come to being the center of attention in the French Quarter.
We arrived in Jackson Square, and found a man wearing a Drew Brees #9 Saints jersey. I got the checkpoint punch from him, while Ryan asked if he could shake his hand. When the guy asked why, Ryan said he wanted to tell his friends that he met Drew Brees in person. Again with the jokes. That’s Ryan.
We were then directed towards the French Market, which is located on a very crowded Decatur Street–the main drag through the French Quarter. We raced by Cafe Du Monde, where we had eaten benigets the night before, and began looking for stall #122. The market takes up a few city blocks, so it took awhile to find it. Once there, a man handed us a little Mardi Gras trinket, which was our ticket to retrieve our bikes that we had previously dropped off.
We ran back to the park, picked up our bikes, and began biking back towards City Park. I have something to admit; biking on these busy streets was pretty dangerous. It’s not that the traffic was bad or dangerous, but we as racers were the one’s being dangerous. Many times we saw racers (ourselves included) riding on sidewalks, riding down the wrong side of the road, or running through stop signs and red lights. These actions put us all in danger, and they makes cyclists look bad overall. Perhaps the race director should have struck some fear in us by saying that he would pull anyone who was found disobeying road rules during the race. Just my two cents.
We got back to City Park, and picked up a few more checkpoints. By now, our passport was almost fully punched, but they had a few more challenges for us. We were directed towards the transition area, where we dropped our bikes for the last time. The challenge here was that two team members had to make a 20-yard field a goal. Ryan lined up, and drilled it straight through. Bret then stepped up, kicked the ball up, and in a classic come-from-behind victory style kick, glanced it off the upright and went in. Two for two. By nailing that challenge, we probably passed 3-4 teams who were vainly trying to kick it through.
Now we had some more running to get to the next challenge. By this point, we had been going for about 4 and 1/2 hours. We were all flagging, but gained a little energy in knowing that this was our last checkpoint.
The final challenge was at a small fishing dock that sat over a pond. It had a nice hand-rail around the perimeter. Our challenge was to walk on the outside of the hand-rail around the entire perimeter, collect our last punch at the point furthest away from land, and the continue on to the finish. Nobody slipped and fell into the pond, so it looked like we were going to finish this adventure race without going through mud or water. That rarely happens in an adventure race.
We ran back to the finish line, and we started giving each other high-fives, excited to almost be done. But ten feet before the finish line, a race official stopped us and verified that we had collected all of the correct punches on our passports. She quickly looked over our card, and let us continue. We crossed the finish line in just over 5 hours. We congratulated Bret on becoming an Adventure Racer as he flopped down to the ground. For a guy who participated in his first race with not much time to train, he did great.
Since the Adventure Racing season dies off during winter, we are waiting to see what races we’ll participate in next year. In the meantime, Ryan is planning to run the Tough Mudder in February, and I’m going to run the Birmingham Marathon Relay with Ellen’s family. Bret has found an Adventure Race in Texas that has a Clydesdale division, and he is excited about the possibility of matching up with guys his size. Go get ‘em, buddy.












































